Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
