I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
