Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
