They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
