I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
