They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
