a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
