its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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