Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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