He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
