My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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