And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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