I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
this is an emotional support booty call
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
