Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
