whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
