you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
