are you still at the devil's house?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
