he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
