I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
