i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
