we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
