Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
