Why does Corona taste like a burp?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
