she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you had me at cake vodka
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
