he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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