you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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