You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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