she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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