we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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