apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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