You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
