He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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