so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
