he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
