Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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