everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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