im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
