We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
