I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i dont even know how to be here
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
