I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
