no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
