Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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