I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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