Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
