I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
