my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
