using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
