Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
