Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
