your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
