that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
