My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
