Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize