I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
