taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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