Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sorry about my life...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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