I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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