I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
