Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
