By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
