i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just high enough for therapy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize