Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
