Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize